It’s easy to understand why so many divorces turn into a long and arduous fight – after all, the premise of getting divorced is so often about arguments, mistrust, and misdeeds. But when it comes to the divorce process, approaching your divorce with the “fight still in you” most often leads to a compromised resolution. Taking the fight out of money matters puts you in better control of your finances now, and in the future.
Start thinking of your divorce as a business transaction and conduct yourself accordingly. Approach your ex-spouse as you would someone across the board room table. Be diligent and steadfast in your approach, but be pragmatic and respectful at the same time.
To get the best results, get educated, get organized and become a proactive partner with the members of your divorce team. Remember, you have just one shot to get it done right the first time or you will live with the mistakes for a lifetime!
Consider a collaborative divorce process. In the collaborative process you work within a “Team Approach” consisting of all or a combination of:
- Two attorneys – each representing one spouse, or
- Two coaches – each representing one spouse
- One financial neutral – does not represent either party
- Potentially, one child specialist – represents the child(ren)
This team approach can bring excellent results if all parties are truly committed to making it work without going to court. That is, if all parties are committed to “taking the fight off the table.”
Just because you are choosing to not engage in acrimonious fighting with your ex-spouse, doesn’t mean you don’t want to still protect your best interests. Be as clear as possible on your goals. How can you get a good settlement when you don’t know what that looks like? Give your future a lot of thought so that you understand what your financial needs will be down the road. And understand what you are willing to “give up” in the process. Neither of you will get everything.
Today’s educated divorcing couple understands the benefits of limiting the fight in their divorce. After all, you are already at the divorce table – how you handle yourself here has far reaching effects on your future. A collaborative process is key to managing your divorce with dignity, respect, and achieving the best outcome possible.
