women’s empowerment – Adrienne Rothstein Grace https://adriennegrace.com Wed, 03 Jun 2020 19:35:44 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 171315793 Going from We to Me: He’s Not Your Problem https://adriennegrace.com/going-from-we-to-me-hes-not-your-problem/ Wed, 03 Jun 2020 19:35:44 +0000 https://adriennegrace.com/?p=8843 Are you a nurturer? Are you a mom? Have you spent most of your marriage taking care of your husband and family, and perhaps putting others’ needs ahead of your own? Welcome to the club! This mindset does make it harder to make the transition from thinking of ‘We’, you and your husband as a unit, to being concerned with the welfare of ‘me’ (of course, your children are included). It’s not an easy page to turn.

That’s the reason I chose this phrase for the title of my book, because it really describes the journey we take in divorce and afterwards.

I offer you the following, that has helped me and hundreds of my clients make this life-altering transition. I know I repeated these things to myself so many times during and after my own divorce. I found grounding and a path forward. You can, too.

He is not your problem. No matter what you think about him, he is not your problem. No matter what you feel about him, he is not your problem.

He is who he is, and he is going to do whatever he is going to do. You can’t change who he is and you can’t control what he does.

He is only your problem because you empower him to become your problem. You empower him by allowing him to push your buttons. You empower him to be your problem each time you react in a way that causes you to lose your focus and compromise your values.

He is not your problem because what he thinks about you, what he believes you deserve or how he feels about you is not relevant to anyone but him.

He is not your problem because he does not have the power to define success or failure for anyone but himself. He does not dictate how you define who you are, and how you will live your life.

Who he is, is not your problem unless you want him to be someone different. What he does is not your problem unless you are wishing and hoping that he does something differently. What he says to you or about you is not your problem unless you want him to say something different.

He may make you feel crazy, angry, sick, sad, resentful, fearful, insecure, disempowered, small and guilty. He may be unfair, nasty, vengeful or cold. He may be a problem but don’t make him your problem. That will only distract you from your real problems

Your real problem is how to conclude your divorce and move on with your life, separate from him. He’s not your problem. Your divorce is, and that’s a problem you can solve.

And you don’t have to do it alone.

Does this resonate with you? If you need some support to move forward in your divorce with confidence and clarity, just click here to schedule a free Financial Clarity session with me. We can outline some steps you can take now, and see if it’s a fit for us to work together to support you more. Schedule your free financial clarity session today at calendly.com/contactAGrace!

]]> 8843 She Invented That! Ruth Mary Rogan Benerito https://adriennegrace.com/she-invented-that-ruth-mary-rogan-benerito/ Tue, 24 Mar 2020 12:05:20 +0000 https://adriennegrace.com/?p=8826 Ruth Mary Rogan Benerito was born in New Orleans in 1916 and lived to be 97. She was an American chemist and inventor known for the development of wash-and-wear cotton fabrics, as well as the development of glassy fibers useful in the manufacture of laboratory equipment.
She described her father, John Edward Rogan, as a pioneer in women’s liberation. Her mother, Bernadette Elizardi Rogan, was an artist and considered a “truly liberated woman” by her daughter.
In an age when girls did not usually go on to higher education, her father made sure his daughters received the same education available to boys. She earned degrees in chemistry, physics and math, from the women’s college at Tulane University, a Master’s degree from Tulane, and her doctorate In 1948 from the University of Chicago.
In 1953 she went to work at the U.S. Department of Agriculture in New Orleans, where she spent most of her career.
It was while working there that Benerito invented wash-and-wear cotton fabrics. She found a way to chemically treat the surface of cotton that led not only to wrinkle-resistant fabrics, but also to stain- and flame-resistant fabrics. The invention was said to have “saved the cotton industry.”
Besides her contribution to the textile industry, during the Korean War, she developed a way to give fat intravenously to patients who were too sick to eat — a method used to feed seriously wounded soldiers and save their lives.
Awarded a total of 55 patents, and numerous awards, we are most grateful to Ruth Benerito for her contributions to the ease, comfort and safety of our lives — and for freeing us from the ironing board.

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