Write up a brief history of your relationship with money for your partner. Think through the issues above.  What are some of your biggest financial fears or expectations? What are your short-term and long-term financial goals?

Choose a quiet place for this date, where you can share your feelings and fears.  A quiet spot in your own home, with a bottle of wine and lots of pillows- that may be where you bring out these thoughts. Perhaps you start with a walk in the park, and then settle down at a picnic table to talk. Deep feelings can surface- and that’s what we want to share.   Anywhere you can talk, share, feel and express those feelings comfortably will do nicely.

Most people don’t take the time or maybe don’t have the courage to look closely at their feelings about money.  Human beings created the concept of money, and then many of us let it rule our lives. You can take control, and build a strong and resilient relationship with your partner, harnessing its power.  This is financial intimacy. This can help cement your love into the foundation you can build your relationship on, honest and strong. 

Enjoy these moments.  

And then tune in for: Money Date: A New Look at Finance and Romance. Part Three.

If you’d like to discuss any of these helpful tips, schedule a Financial Clarity session with me at www.calendly.com/contactAGrace.

Walking from room to room can evoke years of memories, both good and bad. You may have remodeled, decorated and redecorated every inch of it, with treasured items at every turn. Or unhappiness may lurk there, in every dark corner. The equity in your house — the part you own, without the bank — can be your pot of gold, cash to fund your freedom.

However you feel about the house, it’s likely the biggest asset you own jointly, and what you do with it next, will be an important part of your divorce settlement. Most women and mostly all children -would prefer to stay where they are. But this is an important decision to be made by the adults. This is a time of change. The challenge is to separate the emotional from the practical, and take a long, hard look at your home, and
make important decisions about it.

Part of my job, at Transitioning Finances, is to complete the financial analyses needed to help you see if you can afford to stay- and for how long. Here are some key questions for you to consider, if you’re going through a divorce and want to keep the house.

Why do you want to keep the house?

Is it because it’s easier to stay than to pack up and go? Maybe it’s in a convenient location near the kids’ schools or close to where you work? Or, maybe your parents and siblings live just around the corner, and you value the support and connection. Try to keep emotions out of your decision, so that you can reach a divorce settlement agreement that puts you on a solid financial footing.

Can you afford to keep the house? This is important at every income level. How do the expenses of the house impact your soon-to-be-single budget? Is there enough money in the new budge to cover everything? Beyond the mortgage, taxes, utilities, insurance, maintenance, there are the unexpected repairs and constant upkeep. The‘honey-do’ list is all yours now, and you may have to hire professionals to take care of things your spouse used to do. A house costs money. Even affluent women have to thoughtfully weigh their options.

Would some other assets be worth more to you than the house? It’s important to understand that not all assets that are valued the same are actually worth the same.

Here’s an example:
Let’s say you’re trying to decide whether to keep a $500,000 savings account or a $500,000 house that’s completely paid off. On paper, they look the same. Your dream is to stay in this house until your youngest graduates from high school — thee years more, and you’re betting that the house will grow substantially in value. In addition to all the expenses we mentioned above, when you eventually sell your home, there may be
expenses to make the house ready for optimum sale- things to be fixed, painted, landscaped. These expenses are yours. Let’s assume you bought the home for $150,000, your neighborhood is now in high demand, and it’s now worth $500,000. Your capital gain is $350,000.

Sounds great, doesn’t it? But wait. Subtract your $250,000 capital gains exclusion as a single person, and you’ll have to pay capital gains tax on $100,000. At the current capital gains tax rate of 15%, that’s a tax bill of $15,000. Add that to the costs of sale, estimated at 8%, for another $40,000 off the top.

In three years, the savings account could be worth est. $520,000 (at approx. 1.25% ) It could alternatively provide extra cash to cover your expenses. Your house could net you $445,000, after taxes and expenses, only after you sell. You may have a different opinion about keeping the house vs taking the cash.

What other living options are available to you?

Is there a good alternative, for the single person/single parent you will be? Maybe your house is just too big for your smaller family. Maybe a fresh start would be good for everyone. Are there rental options nearby? Smaller properties available? Keep in mind that there are lots of different places you can call “home.”

Going From We to Me can be very challenging. Avoiding the emotional roller coaster of divorce when making important decisions about your family home isn’t easy- but it can be crucial to your future financial health.. With the help of your advisors and CDFA, make the best decision you can, as a part of a comprehensive plan for continued financial stability and security in the future.

Avoid the common mistakes most women make about money, especially when they are in crisis- divorce, widowed, etc.  Schedule a free consultation with me at Calendly.com/contactagrace; or call me at 716-817-6425.

ADRIENNE ROTHSTEIN GRACE, CFP®, CDFA
CERTIFIED DIVORCE FINANCIAL ANALYST
1404 SWEET HOME RD, SUITE 9 AMHERST, NY 14228
716-817-6425/FAX 716-313-1754
ADRIENNE@ADRIENNEGRACE.COM
WWW.TRANSITIONINGFINANCES.COM
MEMBER, NYS COUNCIL ON DIVORCE MEDIATION.
EMPOWERING YOU. FINANCIALLY.

SECURITIES AND ADVISORY SERVICES OFFERED THROUGH CADARET, GRANT & CO., INC., A REGISTERED INVESTMENT ADVISOR AND MEMBER FINRA/SIPC. DAVIS FINANCIAL SERVICE AND CADARET, GRANT & CO., INC. ARE SEPARATE ENTITIES.