The next step is to start planning what the future looks like. Talk about what you each see and expect out of the next few decades.

• How do you want to split expenses? Do you deposit all funds into a joint account and then pay everything from that?  Some people prefer 50/50 even if one person makes more money. Others divide expenses based on income. Some couples even work out more creative solutions, such as: One person pays all the living expenses while the other does the saving and paying for extras, like vacations and concerts.  Figure out what works in your relationship that won’t lead to misunderstandings or conflicts.
• Do you want joint savings and/or checking accounts? Depending on how you share expenses, you may want to share savings and checking accounts, too. Create some infrastructure that helps you reach your goals. For example, a joint savings account for your dream home that each of you automatically pays into each month. Or, if you share groceries and other living expenses, you might create a checking account for those expenses, so you don’t have to keep a ledger. The more you can set and forget, the easier achieving joint goals may be.  Make certain that you talk about this on your Money Dates, so that one partner doesn’t overdraw, due to poor communication. 
• Talk contingency plans such as creating a nest egg for emergencies,  life insurance, and other safety nets. It’s a good rule of thumb to start with savings that can cover expenses  for three to six months.
• Are you interested in buying a home together? What kind of house?  How much would it cost?  Can you save up for a down payment?  Making a plan together and writing it down can help you reach that goal.
• Talk about kids and aging relatives. As a couple, you should discuss future  expenses and any expectations you have about future responsibilities before it becomes an issue. From preschool, private school and college to eldercare, there are lots of expenses that come with dependents and should be considered in your long-term planning.
• What does retirement look like for you as a couple? Discuss what retirement looks like for you.  How much income will you need? Have either of you started to save in an IRA or 401(k) plan? Did you know that 60 percent of couples and almost half of Boomers don’t have any idea how much their Social Security benefit might be?3 The information is readily available on the Social Security website if you want to start factoring that into your retirement plans.

Celebrate successes 

There will be struggles and wins on your path to financial security. Talk about how  you want to celebrate the milestones you receive. Do you want to throw a party to celebrate making the last payment on your student loans? A family night out when your emergency savings account hits its target? Recognize your successes, and make it fun.

What was once an uncomfortable topic can become the glue that binds your relationship together. Communicating about the future you want to build together can be fun! So, when are you planning your Money Date?

For more ideas on how to manage your finances, call me at 716.817.6425 and we’ll tackle this together.

If you’d like to discuss any of these helpful tips, schedule a Financial Clarity session with me at www.calendly.com/contactAGrace.

Now that you’ve opened up about money with each other, it’s time to take a closer look. If you keep your finances separate, before you get together to discuss finances as a couple, check out what’s going on with your own. Ask your partner to do the same prep work, so you both can come to the table with up-to-date information.

You can do this.  It’s helpful to know that your partner is tackling this, too.  If you hold your accounts jointly, decide who will gather up the documents, or do it together.

• Start by writing down all of your debts: student loans, credit cards, car payments, etc. Be sure to include the APR (interest and fees) on all of them. Tip: Sometimes your credit card APR is on the last pages of your statement, so don’t worry if it doesn’t jump out at you when you check. Don’t edit to spare your feelings.  Truth.
• Then log all of your income, even if your spouse is the primary wage-earner. If you are paid a set salary this is easy.  If you work freelance, hourly or multiple jobs, or have a side hustle, look back over the last 12–18 months.  List each month individually. This can help you identify cycles/trends in your income as well as the average monthly amount.
• Don’t forget savings, life insurance, child support, 401K, etc.

Set your Money Date to review the financial work you’ve prepared.

Pick a comfortable time and place, free from distractions. Perhaps a local coffee shop, or this might be better spread  out on the dining room table. If you have kids, get a sitter or if they are young, after they’ve gone to bed. And make this a no cell phone, no tv  time.

Be open and non-judgmental

Create a judgment-free zone and bring an open mind. Nearly 38 percent of couples were only somewhat or not at all aware of their significant other’s debts or income! So you’re not alone if there are surprises here.

Start with now, then plan for later

This Money Date is about where each of you is, individually. If you already have common assets, that can be a part of the discussion too, but stay focused on the present more than the future. This an appraisal of now.  Once you know where you stand, then set a separate date for planning your future. Try scheduling a monthly Money Date until you get comfortable. Then you can move to quarterly, or even yearly goal setting getaways, if that makes sense. Tax time is a natural, as the yearly summaries come in.

Reward yourselves afterward

Money Dates can be a bit of work, and they can be stressful.  Unexpected emotional issues can arise; Important insights appear into each other, and maybe some tension, as well.  So try to plan something fun to do together after your Money Date business is complete. Grab a glass of wine, go for a drive, see a funny movie, get some ice cream.  Rewarding yourselves by creating a fun ritual may actually get you excited for all your future Money Dates.

If you’d like to discuss any of these helpful tips, schedule a Financial Clarity session with me at www.calendly.com/contactAGrace.