Remember that putting “fun” into your life balance is key to a healthy life, healthy relationships, and a healthy outlook. It is as important to budget for fun as much as to budget for your healthcare or your child’s car.

“Fun” does not have to be expensive, but it has to be planned for in your budget at whatever level will give you balance. By planning for financial security with a sound budget, you can make these the best years of your life. A budget is simply an evergreen document that gives you a picture of your income and expenses, and helps prioritize both. It changes as your circumstances change.

If you’ve never had a budget, you’re not alone. More than half of Americans don’t use a budget regularly according to the National Foundation for Credit Counseling 2011 Consumer Financial Literacy Survey. As you enter your 40s, you’ve got important decisions and changes to make. In addition to your ordinary monthly expenses, your children may be about to go to college. Your parents may need additional care, and retirement is not very far away. No matter what stage of life you’re in, it’s never too late to begin managing your finances. 

Step 1. Get the big picture first. Determine whether you need a weekly, monthly or other time frame budget based on the regularity of your income and expenses. List all the money you get in a month, from your job or business, interest on your savings and investments and any other payments you receive. List all your expenses, including taxes, housing costs, transportation, food, insurance and health care, debt and utilities. Make allowances for irregular categories, such as entertainment and recreation, clothing and miscellaneous.

Step 2. First place to start: subtract your expenses from your income to evaluate your budget health. Decide what your expense priorities are and calculate the way to get there. Track your spending with the smallest of detail (too often we overlook seemingly insignificant expenditures that end up totaling more than we think). Look for opportunities to shave money off your expenses (bundling in-home entertainment and internet, shopping around for lower-cost service companies, etc.). Start to limit your use of credit to make purchases. Save more money. Consider charitable giving now or as planned giving in your will. 

Step 3. Prioritize the funding of your retirement by increasing your contributions. Place at least 10 percent of your income into retirement savings accounts and max out the contributions allowed through your employer. Talk with a financial advisor about your money needs for the future. Most Americans have an unrealistic idea of how much money they will need to live comfortably in retirement. Aim for about $1.5 million to $3 million in the bank so you don’t outlive your money.

Step 4. Review all your investing alternatives. Determine whether you’re being too conservative or on the other hand entertaining too much risk in consideration of your future financial priorities. Make necessary changes. Talk with a trusted professional help to find out if there’s a way to allow your money to grow — and last longer — without adding too much risk or instability to your investments.

Step 5. Focus on paying down your mortgage. Investment advisors agree that by the time you are in your 60’s your mortgage should be completely paid off. This is the first step in a comprehensive effort to reduce your overall debt load. Spend your 40s eliminating your entire debt burden so you can enjoy your later years.

Step 6. Analyze your insurance needs. Be sure you are budgeting appropriately to cover life, health and long-term care insurance needs. Plan your estate. No matter its size be sure to create a will, decide on power of attorney and set your medical directives. These are important adjuncts to your financial life at this stage. They ensure that all the hard work you’ve done in accumulating wealth doesn’t get intercepted as you progress toward ending your formal work life. They also ensure that your earnings and savings will benefit your loved ones.

Step 7. Budget for fun. Your 40s may seem all about responsibility; you work hard and care for your family. But you shouldn’t neglect yourself either. This stage of life offers an opportunity to pursue put-off passions with the stability you’ve built over time. Create room in your budget for travel, adventure, and that convertible you’ve always dreamed of. Now is the time to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

For Sheila, reducing today’s expenses by selling the family home and downsizing to a smaller place makes the most sense financially. Yes, it is yet another change that she and the children will need to absorb. It could mean changing schools and disrupting children’s neighborhood friendships.  In fact, all of the family’s habits and comforts will be disrupted more than it already is. Emotionally, this is a very tough decision. But financially, it is vital to keeping the family on track to their future.  As time goes on, there will be college tuitions to pay, weddings to be hosted, cars to be replaced and emergencies handled.

Clients come to me from all walks of life with the same question – “How can I maintain my lifestyle after my divorce?” For some – they simply cannot. Their marital combined income that may have barely supported just one household, will now be split into two. Where once Sheila had her husband on tap for quick household repairs and maintenance, she will now be hiring outside services. Sheila’s husband’s small business allowed him to be available for child care in the afternoons – now afterschool daycare costs need to be added.  Not only will Sheila have less money to cover expenses – she will also have more expenses.

This is a time of hard decisions.  As the adult in the family you need to be the one to face them- and help everyone, including yourself, move on.  Sometimes this very hard decision is the only one  that will provide a secure future for all of you.

Even after the judgement is entered, there are many things you must do to be certain that the financial and legal aspects of your life are in order for this next phase of your life.  Review your settlement document carefully.  You don’t want to miss any one of these important actions.

Use this checklist to help wrap important follow-up items after your divorce is final. Not every item may apply to you, but there are likely several for you to take care of.

Documents and Titles

1. Get a copy of the certified divorce decree; make extra copies and store in a safe place. Keep your marriage certificate (original or a certified copy), as well.
2. If you intend to change your name, don’t forget these places:
   1. Driver’s license, car title and registration
   2. Social security card
   3. IRS records
   4. Life, health, disability insurance
   5. Employer records
   6. Credit cards
   7. Bank, brokerage and investment accounts
   8. Professional licenses
   9. Title to real property
   10. Utility bills
   11. Passport
3. You and your ex-spouse will need to determine who will hold the originals of important documents, such as children’s passports, birth certificates, medical records, religious documents, photographs, videos, keepsakes. One of you can keep the original, but the other should have a copy.
4. If your divorce decree requires the transfer of title to cars, motorcycles, or boats, prepare, sign and deliver the necessary documents to complete the transfer. (Don’t forget Step 8, about insurance on those items).
5. Close any joint credit accounts: credit cards, department store charges.
6. Once joint accounts are closed, order a copy of your credit report, to ensure that changes have been made, and there are no unauthorized charges

“I wish I had known.” “Why didn’t someone tell me?” “This is news to me.”

How many of us have uttered at least one of those phrases in the last few months? How about over the last few years? We want to be informed. We are smart, independent, empowered women who are ready to take charge of their future. But how, exactly, do we do that? How do we get informed?

The easiest way to start is for every woman to ask herself some questions.

1. How comfortable are you with risk in terms of your finances? Do you prefer stocks or bonds or other investments?
   1. I’d like to make enough money to be able to take care of everything while I’m still working and then have enough left over to have a vacation home or a family getaway in my retirement.
   2. I’m not sure which I prefer, I leave this up to my husband/partner/other decision maker. I don’t want to lose all my money, though.
   3. I’m very comfortable with risk and have a diversified portfolio. I’m interested in learning more about my options and how we can collaborate to come up with future investment plans.
   4. I definitely don’t want to play the stock market, but I’d like to know that I have a good nest egg saved when I retire. Tell me more about different types of investments.

Knowing your tolerance for risk is a very important step in understanding how you should develop your retirement financial strategies – from what investment product mix you should employ to how often you are willing to change strategies. Whatever your risk tolerance, there are investment products perfectly suited for you.

2. What is most important to you today?
   1. Provide for my family/protect my family
   2. Not to have to rely on others
   3. Achieve financial independence
   4. Prepare for the future

We all have priorities. Recognizing those priorities and planning accordingly will give you a better financial plan whether for the short- or long-term. Priorities also help us adjust as needed based on where we are going, not from where we have been.

For even more guidance on how to Empower Yourself Financially attend this free seminar – November 16th – Parkside Lodge, Buffalo. Register: https://empoweringfinancially.eventbrite.com/

“I wish I had known.” “Why didn’t someone tell me?” “This is news to me.

How many of us have uttered at least one of those phrases in the last few months? How about over the last few years? We want to be informed. We are smart, independent, empowered women who are ready to take charge of their future. But how, exactly, do we do that? How do we get informed?

The easiest way to start is for every woman to ask herself some questions.  

1. When thinking about your future, what keeps you up at night?
   1. My family, kids or grandkids future
   2. Did my husband put enough money away for us?
   3. How is my portfolio?
   4. Has my 401(k) done well and will it last through retirement?

No matter what it is that makes you worry about finances, there are resources available to strengthen your ability to make the tough decisions.  The key is to access those resources and make decisions about those financial matters that are unsettled.  Ignoring the nagging questions won’t make them go away!

2. How involved would you like to be with your household finances and financial plan?
   1. I’d like to have a better understanding
   2. I’m fine with things the way they are
   3. I’d like to be able to collaborate with a financial professional to make some of my decisions.
   4. I’d like to be able to have some of my decisions made for me.

I don’t think many of us are truly “fine with the way things are” especially if we have not armed ourselves with the right knowledge to make sound judgements on our financial future. Whether we are an independent thinker, or someone who likes to collaborate, making decisions in a vacuum is a sure recipe for an unplanned financial future. And that ignorance brings fear and insecurity.

For even more guidance on how to Empower Yourself Financially attend this free seminar – November 16^th – Parkside Lodge, Buffalo. Register: https://empoweringfinancially.eventbrite.com/

To help you decide which bills to pay first, here’s a list to help you prioritize your payments:

1. Rent or Mortgage Payments – You want to make sure that you have a roof over your head first of all.
2. Car Loans – You especially want to keep current on your vehicle payments if you depend on your car to get you to work.
3. Credit Cards – If you have credit cards which are being reported to the credit bureaus, you should strive to make your payments by the due date so that late payments won’t be counted against you.
4. Utility and Phone Bills – Once again, make sure that you send in the minimum amount due to insure your services don’t get cut off.
5. Insurance Premiums – I know it’s hard to continue paying for something that you see no immediate benefit from, but it’s important to not let your insurance go, especially your auto and health insurance.
6. Secured Loans – Not paying a secured loan will result in the creditor repossessing the property securing the loan. Before defaulting, call the creditor to explain your situation and ask for an extension. This may cost you more in the long run, but can prevent a ding on your credit report.
7. Unsecured debts – Hospital and doctor bills, attorney fees, and debts to other professionals are sometimes easiest to work with. The main thing is to be upfront about what you can pay and then make sure they are paid on a regular basis.

When you’re rebuilding your credit after divorce, you need to exercise restraint in building new debt and work to pay off your existing debts. Your debt ratio (debt owed/total credit available) accounts for 30% of your credit score. Also, one of the fastest ways to raise your credit scores is by paying down your debts.

The first thing you should do is review your credit report to see what information it contains. The easiest way to get your report from all three credit bureaus is by going to www.annualcreditreport.com. This is the official site that was established to allow people the opportunity to receive a free annual copy of their credit report.

Once you get your credit report, review all the information to make sure that everything is listed properly and that none of your ex’s information or accounts are showing up.

While not necessarily common, it is not unusual to find that your ex may have used your credit card for something unauthorized (like a new car!) or may have opened a new account in both your names to fund purchases you didn’t know about.  If you find such a situation, contact your attorney first to see what recourse you may have.  Contact the credit company and freeze the card or the account right away.

If you find errors, you should contact the credit bureau to have the error corrected (the information on how to do this will come with your credit report). Once the dispute process is completed, you will receive notification from the credit bureau along with an updated copy of your credit report.

You also want to look for any accounts that should have been closed during your divorce that are still showing as open accounts. In this instance, you should contact the creditors to close it, and ask that they report to the credit bureaus that the account was closed at your request. After requesting the change for your account listing, you should wait at least a month or two before ordering another copy of your report to verify that it has been updated correctly.

If you don’t have a credit history due to everything being in your ex-husband’s name, it’s time to establish one. The easiest way to get started is by applying for a credit card. You should check with your local bank to see if they offer credit cards through their institution. You can also apply for a department store credit card to start establishing your credit. Once you get a credit card, the trick is to use it wisely. Purchasing small items, and paying for them on time (always!) is a great way to establish a good credit record.

Whether you should file a bankruptcy before or after a divorce depends on where you live, how much property and debt you have, and what type of bankruptcy you wish to file.

1. What are the Costs of Filing for Bankruptcy?

Bankruptcy filing fees are the same for joint and individual filings.  So filing a joint bankruptcy with your spouse before a divorce can save you a lot on court fees.  Also, if you decide to hire a bankruptcy attorney, your attorney fees will likely be much lower for a joint bankruptcy than if each of you filed separately.

However, you should let your bankruptcy attorney know about your upcoming divorce as there may be a conflict of interest for him or her to represent you both.

Filing for bankruptcy before a divorce can also simplify the issues regarding debt and property division and lower your divorce costs as a result.

1. How do I File?

A Chapter 7 is a liquidation bankruptcy designed to get rid of your unsecured debts, such as credit card balances and medical bills.  In a Chapter 7, you usually receive a discharge after only a few months, so it can be completed quickly before a divorce.

In contrast, a Chapter 13 bankruptcy lasts three to five years because you have to pay back some or all of your debts through a repayment plan.  So if you were looking to file a Chapter 13, it may be a better idea to file individually after the divorce, due to the lengthy nature of the process.

If you intend to file a Chapter 7, the decision to file before or after a divorce can come down to figuring your income when you maintain a single household.  If you wish to file jointly, you must include your combined income in the bankruptcy.  If your joint income is too high, then you may not be able to qualify for a Chapter 7.

1. Do I File before or after the Divorce?

Wiping out your debts jointly through a bankruptcy will simplify the property division process in a divorce.  However, before filing a joint bankruptcy you must make sure that your state allows you enough exemptions to protect all property you own between you and your spouse.  Certain states allow you to double the exemption amounts if you file jointly.  So if you own a lot of property, it may be a better idea to file a joint bankruptcy.

If you can’t double your exemptions and you have more property than you can exempt in a joint bankruptcy, it may be more advantageous to file individually after the property has been divided in the divorce.  Also, keep in mind that if you file bankruptcy during an ongoing divorce the automatic stay will put a hold on the property division process until the bankruptcy is completed.

1. How long will the negative information impact my credit file?

The record of your bankruptcy will impact your credit report for  7 years for completed Chapter 13 bankruptcies; 10 years for Chapter 7 bankruptcies.  Consider this impact carefully as you make your divorce and post-divorce plans.

Bankruptcy, like divorce, is a very complicated issue and needs to be carefully considered. Be sure to talk to your divorce team before making any moves or discussing with your soon-to-be ex. Being informed can make all the difference in the world as to how to make every decision to your advantage.

I have found that people are generally pretty honest while going through divorce, except of course, when they are not. I do find that too many women trust their husbands when they shouldn’t. Looking for hidden assets is part of the work of your divorce team. To give you a head start, here are some of the places your spouse may have hidden assets.

• Antiques, artwork or hobby equipment that is overlooked and undervalued. Look for lush furnishings in his office.
• Collusion with his employer to delay payment of bonuses, stock options or raises until after the divorce.
• Income, often cash, that is unreported on tax returns and financial statements. Your life-style costs during marriage probably exceeded reported income, so document your cash expenditures.
• A custodial account set up in the name of a child, using the child’s social security number and your spouse as custodian.
• Debt repayment of a phony debt to a friend or family member, with the pre-arrangement that the friend will hold the money until after the divorce, then give it to your husband.
• Salary paid to a nonexistent employee from your husband’s business. The checks will be voided after divorce.
• Money paid from the business to someone close, such as father or girlfriend, for business services not rendered. The money will no doubt be given back to your spouse after the divorce is final.
• Delay in signing long-term business contracts until after the divorce.
• Expenses paid for a girlfriend, such as gifts, travel, jewelry, rent or college tuition.
• Investment in municipal bonds or Series EE Savings Bonds for which no interest is reported on tax returns.

The list goes on, but this is a good start to see if indeed your spouse may be hiding assets during your divorce. Take your time investigating his financial activities, and use financial experts to help.  You will find that usually one piece of evidence will lead to another.

Until recently you typically had to pay to see your credit score. Thankfully that’s changed as a result of an initiative by the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. You now have free access to your credit score through your credit-card company.

It’s important to know what those three little digits mean to you. When you know the power of your FICO score you are better prepared for how to manage your finances, and what records might need to be corrected. Compare your score to this ranking:

• Excellent Credit: 781 – 850
• Good Credit: 661-780
• Fair Credit: 601-660
• Poor Credit: 501-600
• Bad Credit: below 500

If you think your score is unfairly low, request a copy of your credit report. You’re entitled to one free copy of your credit report every 12 months from each of the three nationwide credit reporting companies. Order online from www.annualcreditreport.com the only authorized website for free credit reports, or call 1-877-322-8228. You will need to provide your name, address, social security number, and date of birth to verify your identity. Be sure to only access this information from these resources to protect your privacy.

This is one point in your life where it is not only “how you play the game” but also what the score is!