In the final of our series on preparing for divorce consider what you really desire as an outcome. Changing your definition of “winning” can go a long way toward a healthy resolution.
When faced with the transition of divorce, it is easy to get caught up in the quest for “winning.” Winning can take many forms, from winning an argument to getting the best of someone in financial negotiations. Or then again, is that really winning?
There is no doubt that your impending divorce is causing you angst and gives you reasons to doubt, distrust, and in general want to no longer feel like you are “being taken” either emotionally or financially.
In reality, you are probably both feeling that way. What was once a partnership is now becoming two individuals, each with the burden of navigating their new future plans on their own. Discussions move from “Where should we go on vacation next year?” to “I don’t want to give up the house.”
It’s time then, to redefine “winning.” The truest way to win in a divorce is when both spouses leave the relationship financially stable and able to move on to their own secure future. When children are involved, that new definition of winning expands to include the assurance that their everyday as well as educational needs are met, and that the family can be redefined, not destroyed in the process.
If you are in the midst of a divorce, consider taking this new definition of winning to the table the next time you talk about your settlement. Being able to see both you and your spouse leave this relationship with a positive financial future truly is healthy – for everyone involved.
