It’s time to get the help and support of loved ones. No matter how prepared you are, divorce is hard. Let’s get the support system together.
While your personal business is just that – personal, this divorce will affect a lot of people. Family and friends will both be concerned for your well-being, as well as have questions on how this might change their relationship with you and your spouse.
When I got divorced, I had to realize that some of my friends were really my spouse’s friends. Staying close with them might actually have caused other issues – issues that I was well advised to avoid. For friends who were truly bonded to both of us, it was time to talk to them about not feeling like they had to take sides – or even offer their opinion – what I needed most from them was for them to simply remain a friend.
When it came to my family it was important for me to accept that while I still may be able to maintain a friendship with my spouse’s relatives, blood truly is thicker than water. You will want to understand that your sister-in-law may no longer feel comfortable going on your annual weekend outing anymore.
The way you approach this conversation will be the guide for how your family and friends will view this change, and view you. Think first, speak carefully, and communicate from the heart.
Keep private those things that are truly no-one else’s business. Focus these conversations on what is important to the relationships with your friends and family moving forward.
And remember, while you may find that some friends do indeed drift away, it won’t be long at all before you are meeting new people, having new adventures, and creating new bonds.
