How we manage money has a lot to do with the ‘noise in the background’- beliefs and feelings about money that we have absorbed from our families, our culture and experiences. These attitudes can encourage you on to financial success, or block you from financial stability. In your childhood home, what therapists call your ‘family of origin,’ did you talk about money? Was it good? Or bad? Was there a lot of conflict? If you had a previous relationship, who paid the bills? Did that make you feel comfortable? Or uneasy? How much money is enough? Too much? Too little?
Write up a brief history of your relationship with money for your partner. Think through the issues above. What are some of your biggest financial fears or expectations? What are your short-term and long-term financial goals?
Choose a quiet place for this date, where you can share your feelings and fears. A quiet spot in your own home, with a bottle of wine and lots of pillows- that may be where you bring out these thoughts. Perhaps you start with a walk in the park, and then settle down at a picnic table to talk. Deep feelings can surface- and that’s what we want to share. Anywhere you can talk, share, feel and express those feelings comfortably will do nicely.
Most people don’t take the time or maybe don’t have the courage to look closely at their feelings about money. Human beings created the concept of money, and then many of us let it rule our lives. You can take control, and build a strong and resilient relationship with your partner, harnessing its power. This is financial intimacy. This can help cement your love into the foundation you can build your relationship on, honest and strong.
Enjoy these moments.
And then tune in for: Money Date: A New Look at Finance and Romance. Part Three.
If you’d like to discuss any of these helpful tips, schedule a Financial Clarity session with me at www.calendly.com/contactAGrace.
