It’s time to celebrate you, Mom! Mother’s Day is a day to be treated and celebrated for all your hard work and dedication to your family.
For divorced moms, the newly separated or those going through their first Mother’s Day without a spouse, it can be a challenging day to navigate. We’re here to help you take charge and treat yourself to a day that makes you feel empowered, pampered and fulfilled!
Here are a few tips to help you give Mother’s Day a new meaning and realign expectations as you navigate this new season:
- It’s ok if the kids aren’t with you.
If Mother’s Day happens to fall on a weekend where your children are supposed to be with your former spouse, don’t panic! It’s understandable and acceptable to be sad or frustrated, but take a deep breath and remember: It’s just one day. Pick another day with your children and decide that will be your very special Mother’s Day with them this year. Start making special plans as soon as you determine you will not be together so that you have something fun to look forward to. Do you want to have a picnic in the park and play games? Do you want to go shopping? Go to a movie? Or would you rather have a nice day at home, just hanging out? It’ll be your day, your way, so fill it will all the special things that will make you feel your best!
- Treat yourself!
Mother’s Day is all about you. You work so hard to help your children, make sure they’re doing well in school and that their home is filled with love and comfort. Now it’s time to take care of you! Book a spa day or massage. Get a manicure. Tell the kids earlier in the week that you’d like for them to cook for you, if they’re old enough. Buy some beautiful flowers for your table or a new addition for your garden. Whether big or small, find some way to do something nice, just for you, just for today.
- Take a time out.
This is especially important if you’re newly divorced or separated from your spouse. The first Mother’s Day as a single mother without an in-house partner can be emotionally charged. Find some time in the day to have a moment to yourself to reflect. Whether that’s going out for coffee, taking a walk or finding some quiet time to just breathe and meditate, find a way to get some air and clear your mind. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge your successes and victories. Focus on the wonderful blessings you have and don’t spend the day dwelling on the things you lack.
- Be clear about your expectations.
If you want breakfast in bed, buy the ingredients, leave the recipe out on the counter and tell your children, that you’d love (and appreciate) them making a meal for you. If you want time alone, tell them you’re having some “quite time” and you should not be disturbed during a certain time unless there’s an emergency. If you want a hand-made card, set out the construction paper, glue, markers and stickers. You can express to your children that this is important to you and why: You work hard to make them happy and they can make you equally happy by providing a special handmade gift for you. It’s perfectly acceptable to ask for things. If you want a purchased gift, provide a “wish list” and a budget, then take your kids to the mall or local boutique and let them do the selecting.
- Make it a group holiday.
If you know other divorced mothers in the same situation, why not bring them together for a special brunch? Each family can be responsible for a dish so the work is shared, or make reservations at a favorite place and spend the time telling stories. Make a point of telling the other mothers what you respect about them and what you enjoy about their children – that’s a gift any mother would love on any day, but especially on Mother’s Day.
Note: If you’re reading this blog post during the time of the Covid-19 pandemic, you can easily adjust some of these tips to be make your Mother’s day just as special – If your children are at your ex-spouses house why not set up a time to connect on FaceTime or Zoom with your with other divorced moms or extended family. You can also plan to go on a socially distanced walk at a local park or support local boutiques and restaurants with order pick up to make the day uniquely, special!
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