Finding yourself in the challenging position of planning your divorce will force you to make many choices – often with far reaching consequences. The value of making the right decision cannot be overlooked. The same goes with one of the first decisions you will need to make – “how” do you want to proceed with your divorce?
Often, when clients find themselves at the crossroads of determining what process they will use to navigate their divorce, the fear of the unknown paralyzes them into making decisions that in the end – were not the right decisions. Let’s explore the options available and how selecting one over the other can have far reaching positive (or negative) consequences on their divorce, relationship, and family.
Mediation – Any matter in which the parties are willing to work together with one expert. All documents prepared for the mediation, and all matters discussed in the mediation, are confidential. The only public document is the final judgment
- Neutral person (mediator) helps you negotiate:
- Mediator has no power to decide the case
- Informal
- Flexible
- No obligation to hire a lawyer or other adviser, although highly advised to review final documents
- Efficient—less time consuming than litigation
- Inexpensive—compared to litigation
- Empowering – You and your spouse decide what’s best for you and your family.
Collaboration – Cases where the couple wants to work together to reach a resolution but feel they need their own attorney to help them do so. All documents prepared for the collaborative negotiations, as well as all matters discussed in the sessions, are confidential. Only the final judgment is a public document.
- Spouses are represented by specially-trained collaborative attorneys
- Spouses and attorneys sign a “no court” agreement (attorneys must withdraw if case goes to court)
- Spouses and attorneys negotiate in “four-way” meetings
- Attorneys may recommend involving collaborative professionals, such as a financial specialist or mental health coach
- Informal
- Flexible
- More efficient than litigation, and
- Less expensive than litigation.
Litigation – Cases where the parties cannot work together or where there is a power imbalance or history of abuse. Generally all pleadings are public records. This is the least private and most expensive of the processes.
- Schedule is dependent on the courts
- Spouses are represented by their individually hired attorneys
- Usually takes more time due to the process of negotiation controlled by the attorneys
- Formal process with little flexibility
- Most expensive option
One of, if not the most important decision made in divorce is choosing the process that works best for the divorcing couple, and allows them to make the right decisions to move forward to achieve the best outcomes for themselves and their children.
