When you decide to remarry, especially either of you have children, here are some tips to create a solid foundation for your continuing relationship.

Consider a Prenuptial Agreement

When you have your own assets, intending to pass them on to your children, and your new spouse has the same-  a prenuptial agreement can be particularly helpful. Honest and open communication about money and what came before, is an important part of a new relationship so it can be be built on trust and fairness.

(For help here, email me for a copy of “How to Talk to Your Honey about Money”)

If either or both of you have gone through a divorce, you’ll want to avoid that contentious negotiation about dividing assets and protect each other the best you can. Consider what’s in those divorce settlements. Receiving alimony likely will end with remarriage, but the obligation to pay a former spouse does not end. Child support continues, and life insurance beneficiary designations may need to remain in place. Many prenups will state that premarital assets, what you own before this marriage, may go to the children, but assets you acquire during the marriage, are split between you.

States have their own rules, most requiring that a half or a third of marital assets pass to a surviving spouse. It’s important that this is specifically addressed in the agreement, to avoid problems later.

Update Estate Planning Documents

It’s important to do this after divorce whether you remarry or not. All of your legal and financial documents, account titles, and beneficiary designations should be updated.  Who should act as your health care proxy? Who is the beneficiary of your life insurance policy? Etc.

Wills: Do you have a will? A will states your wishes about who gets what when you pass away. You’ll want to make certain that your former spouse is not still your beneficiary! If your children are still minors, who will act as their Guardian?

Your children are the ‘natural objects of your bounty’- a legal concept. But your stepchildren, however close your bond with them is, are not.  If you want to leave something to a stepchild, you need to list it specifically.

Do you have a Living Trust? Review the terms of the Trust and who is acting as Trustee.

If you don’t have a Trust, consider putting one in place.

Trusts can be especially useful for blended families. You can  ensure that your assets benefit your surviving spouse during his/her lifetime, while providing that what remains after the spouse’s death passes to your own kids. Consider choosing an independent, neutral trustee, to minimize friction for everyone.

Check Beneficiary Designations

Review the beneficiary designations on 401(k) accounts, IRA’s and other retirement accounts, life insurance policies, or any account with a directly named beneficiary. These assets pass outside of your will, and must be separately updated. Your prior divorce does not necessarily revoke a designation of an ex-spouse as a beneficiary on everything.  Your prior settlement may give retirement assets to your ex- and these cannot legally be revoked. Spousal rights in retirement plans governed by the Employee Retirement Income Security Act of 1974 (ERISA) are subject to special rules and may require your new spouse to sign off if you want your 401(k) to go to your children.

Consider Life Insurance

Life insurance can be a valuable tool to create an inheritance for your new spouse and your children. It’s not uncommon for a pre-existing policy to name your former spouse as beneficiary as part of the settlement, perhaps to secure child support payments. A new Life insurance policy can create the funds to benefit everyone you wish- your kids, your new step-kids, and anyone else.

Family structure is increasingly fluid. As your family structure changes, it is important to make sure that your estate and financial plans reflect your these dynamics. Your financial planner and estate planning attorney can help you take a holistic approach to your future, so you can enjoy the present.

If you need guidance on securing your financial future, contact me at adrienne@adriennegrace.com or schedule your free Financial Clarity session at www.calendly.com/contactAGrace to get started.

1.  Are you eligible to claim your children as dependents?  This is usually clarified in the divorce settlement agreement, but that’s not quite enough.  The IRS has a required form: Form 8332- Release/Revocation of Release of Claim to Exemption for Child by Custodial Parent.  The must be reviewed, signed and attached to both of your tax returns.  Go to www.irs.gov for a copy of the form and more information.
2. Did you remember that you can alternate who claims your children as dependents from year to year?  A child can be claimed as your dependent long as he/she is under age 19 (on Dec 31) and lives with you for more than half of the year, or is a full time student up to age 24.
3. What status will you use to file your taxes?  If you were divorced by 12/31, married filing jointly is no longer an option.  You can choose between single and head of household.  Check with your tax preparer to see which works better for you.
4. Are you receiving or paying alimony/spousal maintenance?

Remember that alimony is taxable to the recipient and a tax deduction to the person who’s paying.  If this is the first year you are receiving maintenance, and you haven’t been putting money aside for your tax bill, brace yourself for the shock, and start saving now.  You can open a savings account for taxes, and have money transferred monthly from your checking account, to minimize this problem going forward.  Discuss this with your tax preparer, to see if you need to make estimated payments during the year.

Child support is tax-neutral: it’s not taxable to the recipient, and it’s not tax deductible to the person who’s paying.

Your first tax return after your divorce, is just one more step on your journey to financial freedom.

And we grew up with the dream that a knight in shining armor, our very own Prince Charming, would come to our rescue and off we would go to ‘happily ever after’.

Well, I can tell you that the ‘happily ever’ I imagined didn’t include a mortgage payment, cleaning up dog poop, becoming the primary wage earner, or a husband who broke my heart.

I began to ask, so- what happened to Sleeping Beauty’s kingdom? Or Snow White’s?

Then came the new Disney princesses: Moana, Elsa, Belle, Ariel. They are cut from a different cloth. They are independent, brave, and they take a stand for themselves and their families. They take risks, and make very different choices than their fairy tale mothers. These princesses don’t always come from loving, intact families, but perhaps that breeds in them a sense of adventure and a need to prove themselves.

So- did you start out like Snow White, singing, ‘Some Day My Prince will Come’- but now realizing that you’ve been cooped up with him for long months during COVID-19 and that dream is done?

Are you feeling more like Moana? Are you ready to take a stand and (re)discover your own goddess within…reclaiming your own heart?

Is it time to go?

I’ve been both divorced and widowed. I’ve walked this path. If your divorce is not a burden but a blessing, let’s work on it together.
Confused? Anxious? Frightened? Hurt? Resentful? Angry? All of the above? I know how it feels, and I can help.

Moana sings:

I have crossed the horizon to find you.
I know your name.
They have stolen the heart from inside you.
But this does not define you.
This is not who you are.
You know who you are.

I apologize, Disney. This part you got right.

Contact me at adrienne@adriennegrace.com or www.calendly.com/contactAGrace for a free Financial Discovery session and we’ll get you started on a path to your next chapter.

Remember, Marriage is about love; Divorce is about money. Don’t go through it alone.

Take on a dream

Move out of an unfulfilling relationship

Lose weight

Gain control of finances

Get a divorce

And I’m all in favor of that. I believe in setting goals. After all, if you don’t know where you are going, it’s super hard to get there!

You’ve overcome some extraordinary things this year, and grown stronger in the process. I know that YOU’RE stronger and more powerful than you know.

I’m Adrienne Rothstein Grace, Certified Financial Planner (CFP®), Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA). I inspire women in divorce to overcome the overwhelm of the finances of divorce, so they can move on with ease, confidence and security.

Let’s take a moment, and consider your last year, 2020. You can take any challenges, heartache, conflict or “failures” from 2020 and turn them into fuel to propel you forward.

I invite you to consider these questions: 

• What were the greatest challenges or setbacks you overcame in this past year?
• What capacities within yourself did you tap into?
• How have you expanded or grown stronger through this process?

I invite you to take a moment to appreciate yourself for having succeeded and survived these new challenges

I invite you to acknowledge the grace, power, resilience, strength and courage it took you to surmount these circumstances.

Where do you see yourself at this time next year? Let’s work together to help you get there.

Because marriage is about love; divorce is about money, and you don’t have to go thru this alone.

I’d like to gift you a Financial Clarity session, to help outline what you’ll need to do financially to get where you want to go, and see if we can work together from there. Just click on the link below and we’ll talk soon.

https://calendly.com/contactagrace/financial-clarity-session

The basic information your lawyer will ask you to provide is pretty simple: state/province of residence, length of marriage, gross salary, retirement plans and the like. But to truly understand your situation and your needs, it is important to dig a little deeper.

Here are 10 questions to ask yourself as you begin the divorce process.

1. What Assets Do You Own?

This a basic questions that should be top of mind. You can likely come up with a list of bank accounts and real estate off the top of your head, but what retirement assets do you and your spouse own? Stock options? Art, jewelry, or antique collections? Time shares? Business interests? A thorough inventory of marital assets goes far beyond liquid cash.

2. What Do You Owe?

Along with knowing what you have, it is important to know what you don’t have! This includes all credit-card debt and outstanding loans. Be specific. Do you owe more on your house than it’s currently worth? Do you still have student loans outstanding? Are there high balances on multiple credit cards?

3. Could Your Spouse Be Hiding Assets?

It may sound unlikely, but sometimes assets have a way of disappearing after divorce proceedings begin. For example, a spouse may transfer assets to a third party or create false debt in order to skew their financial picture and try to avoid paying a large settlement or spousal support. If you suspect that your spouse is hiding something, let your financial professional and lawyer know – and begin to locate all possible financial documents to find traces of elusive assets.

4. What is Most Important to You?

A financial advocate, who represents just you, will certainly need to know what you find most important. For example, do you wish to remain in the marital home? Knowing that will help them to structure different settlement proposals and future predictions based on your priorities.

5. What Are You Willing To Give Up?

Divorce settlements rarely work out with everyone completely happy, so you should prepare yourself for a potentially harsh reality. Having a list of must-haves a mile long is a recipe for disappointment; after all, it is often far more expensive to continue fighting your ex over a particular asset than it might be to just let it go.

6. How Do You Expect Your Custody Arrangement To Be Structured?

If you have children, it is important to know who they will be spending the most time with, or whether they will be splitting their time equally between both parents’ homes during and after the divorce. Factoring in child-support payments can affect the way a financial picture comes together. Be sure to check your state’s or province’s child support guidelines so you can take realistic numbers into account.

7. How Would You Describe Your Financial Situation?

As important as the specific content of your answer is how it makes you feel. Does this question propel you into insecurity or outright fear? Are you blithely assuming that your lifestyle will continue unchanged after divorce? Are you assuming (perhaps incorrectly) that you will receive spousal support? This is a really good time to consider some supportive therapy, as emotional issues triggered by your financial situation surface and may distract you from a logical, reasonable solution.

8. Do You Expect to Pay or Receive Spousal Support (Alimony)?

Though fewer divorce settlements include long alimony payments these days, many people still assume that lifetime support will be part of their own settlement. Getting accurate information is very useful in helping your team create models for your financial future.

9. Where Are You in the Divorce Process?

For better or worse, most people will seek out a family lawyer first in their divorce process. You may decide not to bring in a financial professional until further into the process, perhaps thinking you’ll save money by delaying. However, having your lawyer and financial professional work together from the beginning can save both time and money in the long run. How far have you gotten in gathering and cataloging information for your financial affidavit? Do you even know what a financial affidavit is? Your financial expert can help to guide you through the financial process just as your lawyer will guide you through the legal one. Taking the time to understand your current situation as well as the road ahead will help your team tailor their communication, advice and instructions to your specific needs.

10. What Questions Can A Professional Answer for You?

This might be the best place to start. Divorce is a confusing, emotional, overwhelming experience, and most people simply don’t know what to expect. A little Q&A with an expert can go a long way toward making you feel more in control of the process. Have some patience and compassion for yourself – and if you don’t understand something, keep asking questions until you do.

Schedule a free consultation with me to discuss how I can help you navigate issues pertaining to divorce, financial planning, retirement planning  and other matters of importance to women: Calendly.com/contactagrace; or call me at 716-817-6425.

Adrienne Rothstein Grace, CDFA, CFP is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst , author of
Going From We to Me: A Financial Guide to Divorce, and the founder of Transitioning Finances, a financial strategy firm that works with women who are thinking about, or going through, a financially complicated divorce. She also advises women who have lost a loved one, or experienced other financially challenging transitions. She can be reached at: Adrienne@AdrienneGrace.com.

Walking from room to room can evoke years of memories, both good and bad. You may have remodeled, decorated and redecorated every inch of it, with treasured items at every turn. Or unhappiness may lurk there, in every dark corner. The equity in your house — the part you own, without the bank — can be your pot of gold, cash to fund your freedom.

However you feel about the house, it’s likely the biggest asset you own jointly, and what you do with it next, will be an important part of your divorce settlement. Most women and mostly all children -would prefer to stay where they are. But this is an important decision to be made by the adults. This is a time of change. The challenge is to separate the emotional from the practical, and take a long, hard look at your home, and
make important decisions about it.

Part of my job, at Transitioning Finances, is to complete the financial analyses needed to help you see if you can afford to stay- and for how long. Here are some key questions for you to consider, if you’re going through a divorce and want to keep the house.

Why do you want to keep the house?

Is it because it’s easier to stay than to pack up and go? Maybe it’s in a convenient location near the kids’ schools or close to where you work? Or, maybe your parents and siblings live just around the corner, and you value the support and connection. Try to keep emotions out of your decision, so that you can reach a divorce settlement agreement that puts you on a solid financial footing.

Can you afford to keep the house? This is important at every income level. How do the expenses of the house impact your soon-to-be-single budget? Is there enough money in the new budge to cover everything? Beyond the mortgage, taxes, utilities, insurance, maintenance, there are the unexpected repairs and constant upkeep. The‘honey-do’ list is all yours now, and you may have to hire professionals to take care of things your spouse used to do. A house costs money. Even affluent women have to thoughtfully weigh their options.

Would some other assets be worth more to you than the house? It’s important to understand that not all assets that are valued the same are actually worth the same.

Here’s an example:
Let’s say you’re trying to decide whether to keep a $500,000 savings account or a $500,000 house that’s completely paid off. On paper, they look the same. Your dream is to stay in this house until your youngest graduates from high school — thee years more, and you’re betting that the house will grow substantially in value. In addition to all the expenses we mentioned above, when you eventually sell your home, there may be
expenses to make the house ready for optimum sale- things to be fixed, painted, landscaped. These expenses are yours. Let’s assume you bought the home for $150,000, your neighborhood is now in high demand, and it’s now worth $500,000. Your capital gain is $350,000.

Sounds great, doesn’t it? But wait. Subtract your $250,000 capital gains exclusion as a single person, and you’ll have to pay capital gains tax on $100,000. At the current capital gains tax rate of 15%, that’s a tax bill of $15,000. Add that to the costs of sale, estimated at 8%, for another $40,000 off the top.

In three years, the savings account could be worth est. $520,000 (at approx. 1.25% ) It could alternatively provide extra cash to cover your expenses. Your house could net you $445,000, after taxes and expenses, only after you sell. You may have a different opinion about keeping the house vs taking the cash.

What other living options are available to you?

Is there a good alternative, for the single person/single parent you will be? Maybe your house is just too big for your smaller family. Maybe a fresh start would be good for everyone. Are there rental options nearby? Smaller properties available? Keep in mind that there are lots of different places you can call “home.”

Going From We to Me can be very challenging. Avoiding the emotional roller coaster of divorce when making important decisions about your family home isn’t easy- but it can be crucial to your future financial health.. With the help of your advisors and CDFA, make the best decision you can, as a part of a comprehensive plan for continued financial stability and security in the future.

Avoid the common mistakes most women make about money, especially when they are in crisis- divorce, widowed, etc.  Schedule a free consultation with me at Calendly.com/contactagrace; or call me at 716-817-6425.

ADRIENNE ROTHSTEIN GRACE, CFP®, CDFA
CERTIFIED DIVORCE FINANCIAL ANALYST
1404 SWEET HOME RD, SUITE 9 AMHERST, NY 14228
716-817-6425/FAX 716-313-1754
ADRIENNE@ADRIENNEGRACE.COM
WWW.TRANSITIONINGFINANCES.COM
MEMBER, NYS COUNCIL ON DIVORCE MEDIATION.
EMPOWERING YOU. FINANCIALLY.

SECURITIES AND ADVISORY SERVICES OFFERED THROUGH CADARET, GRANT & CO., INC., A REGISTERED INVESTMENT ADVISOR AND MEMBER FINRA/SIPC. DAVIS FINANCIAL SERVICE AND CADARET, GRANT & CO., INC. ARE SEPARATE ENTITIES.

1. https://www.nerdwallet.com/blog/average-credit-card-debt-household/

Where do YOU stand in relation to the ‘average U.S. Household’?
Do you have one of these- or are you working under the trifecta of debt- with several or
perhaps all of these weighing you down?

How does this make you feel? Are you confident? Scared? Overwhelmed? Do
you need some help?

A financial plan can help you to structure your financial life, so that you can get a better
handle on your debts- and your goals! and move forward in a positive way to a secure
financial future.

As a Certified Financial Planner (CFP®), I help people manage their financial lives with
ease and confidence, and build toward the goals they want to achieve.
Call me for a free consultation about creating your financial plan.

Avoid the common mistakes most women make about money, especially when they are in crisis- divorce, widowed, etc.  Schedule a free consultation with me at Calendly.com/contactagrace; or call me at 716-817-6425.

Adrienne Rothstein Grace, CFP®, CDFA
Certified Divorce Financial Analyst
1404 Sweet Home Rd, Suite 9 Amherst, NY 14228
716-817-6425/fax 716-313-1754
adrienne@adriennegrace.com
www.TransitioningFinances.com
Member, NYS Council on Divorce Mediation.
Empowering You. Financially.
Securities and Advisory Services offered through Cadaret, Grant & Co., Inc., a Registered Investment Advisor and Member FINRA/SIPC. Davis Financial Service and Cadaret, Grant & Co., Inc. are separate entities.

The big day comes and everyone’s beaming with pride: Your child is graduating from high school and preparing to enter college. It’s a wonderful moment worth celebrating, of course, but it could also lead to tension and stress between former spouses.

Who pays for college when the student’s parents are divorced?

Research shows that 29% of divorced parents helped their children pay for school, compared to 88% of students whose parents are still married. Divorced parents also provided a lesser amount of support to their college-bound students than still-married parents, reflecting the increased costs of maintaining two households.

This is an important conversation to have with your soon-to-be ex if your divorce isn’t yet final and you have kids. How will you split college tuition, or private school for younger children? Will you split costs evenly? Or pro-rata, based on your income? Will you cover a 2-year, 4-year or graduate degree?  Or just 2-4 years of undergraduate study, if majors change, or other circumstances intervene?  Public college or private university? Who will be responsible for helping your child apply for scholarships and for filling out the FAFSA? How much of the cost of college should be your responsibility vs your child working part-time and taking out student loans?

If younger children are involved, each parent can start a college savings or state-based 529 savings account, which comes with additional tax benefits. That way, money can be invested automatically and set aside, with interest growing as the child approaches 18. It’s dedicated funding that can be used as a foundation for further contributions from parents or other family members and friends.

There are also state laws to consider. Some states require payment for college-related expenses under the belief that failure to do so because the parents are no longer married is unfair to the child.  But other states don’t have such laws, leaving it for you to sort out, or a judge to dictate, as a last resort.

These are crucial conversations to have during the divorce process. Establish early on that paying for continuing education costs is a must, even though the amount may be negotiable. The last thing your 18-year-old needs, after weathering the storm of a divorce, is to wonder whether she’ll be able to continue her dream of a college education after being admitted to her school of choice.

As a parent, you want to care for your child and provide all the support and assistance possible, given your new circumstances. That doesn’t change when the high school diploma is handed over. Your former spouse hopefully will feel the same: the same pride, the same urge to support and help your child fulfill her dreams.

Be sure to let your child know that their education is of paramount importance. It will not suffer as a result of the divorce. She doesn’t need all the details, just the reassurance that she’ll still be able to go to college and pursue her chosen field of study with the emotional and financial support of her parents, even though they’re not married any longer.

For more information on how to negotiate and structure paying for college in your divorce, and all other financial issues, please don’t hesitate to call me for a brief, free consultation.

You don’t have to do this alone!

Often, the standard of living of both spouses drops in the first few years after divorce. Why? Because although the saying goes, “two can live as cheaply as one” , the income and assets that may have supported one household now has to support two separate households. Unfortunately, most people donâ€t prepare themselves financially or emotionally for that consequence. So what can you do to better prepare yourself for this inevitability? The answer is like so many things: simple, but not easy.

Here are five things you can do to help prepare yourself for your post-divorce financial future.

1. Expect your income to drop after the divorce is final.

You should expect your income to drop after the divorce is final. Develop a budget based on needs– not wants – and keep in mind that your expenses need to stay within your post-divorce income. Consider all sources of income: wages, investment income, child and spousal support (also called maintenance or alimony), keeping in mind the limited timeframe for support payments. To develop a budget, use a detailed worksheet so you donâ€t overlook any expenses. The best source for the expense information is your check register, if thatâ€s how you pay your bills. Remember that not all your expenses are paid monthly; some insurance premiums or tax bills might be payable quarterly or annually, so make sure to account for those as well. To help get you started, you can use the “Monthly/Annual Expenses” worksheet; email me at: agrace@financialguide.comfor a copy.

2. Consider whether you can afford to keep the house.

Here are the traditional options for the matrimonial home:

1.     One spouse stays in the house (with the children, if any) and buys the other spouseâ€s share by:

o   Cash-out refinance

o   Giving up another asset

o   Property settlement note

2.     The spouses sell the house during or after the divorce process and split the proceeds.

In many cases, one spouse wants to keep the house. Though this might be emotionally satisfying, it often is not financially practical. The equity in the house is illiquid, meaning it wonâ€t pay the bills.

In todayâ€s housing market, sometimes the home canâ€t be sold in a reasonable amount of time – or for a reasonable amount of money. If the house can only be sold at a loss, divorcing couples have a few options, such as:

1.     Renting the house to a third party – or having one ex-spouse stay in the home and pay rent to the other until the market improves

2.     “Birdnesting”: the ex-spouses retain joint ownership of the home.  They also rent a small apartment nearby, and each one alternates living in the house with the kids and in the apartment on his/her own

3.     Agreeing to sell the home at a loss, share the loss, and move on with their lives

4.     Short-sale, foreclosure, or bankruptcy.

If one spouse wants – and can afford – to keep the house, that spouse should pre-qualify for a mortgage before the divorce is final. This is to avoid the unpleasant surprise that can come when one spouse is going to keep the house, but  may get turned down for a mortgage because (s)he doesnâ€t qualify to refinance in his/her name alone. To qualify for a mortgage, most conventional lenders use credit scores and reports and debt- to- income ratios.  Check your credit score, and talk to a mortgage broker to identify any issues before you make important decisions about the home.

3. Know what you have.

Account statements have a way of disappearing when divorce proceedings start. When contemplating divorce, start by collecting statements for all your financial holdings and put together a list of your assets. When negotiating your divorce settlement, this step will prove helpful as a starting point. Hereâ€s an example of items youâ€ll need to list on an Asset Worksheet.

• Cash and investments
• Real Estate
• Personal Property
• Cash Value Life Insurance
• Business Interests
• Retirement accounts

As you work your way through the asset split negotiations, each asset can be moved to its appropriate column: “Husband” or “Wife”. To figure out the percentage split, divide the total for each spouse by the grand total.

4. Understand your financial needs.

Itâ€s important to make sure that you factor cash flow into your calculations. Letâ€s suppose you want to keep the marital house – which is worth $250,000 or 40% of the marital estate – as your share of the settlement. Until you take a close look at your long-term financial forecast, you wonâ€t know whether you can afford to keep it. Suppose, for example, youâ€ve factored child-support payments into your income; after the payments end, how are you going to pay the mortgage? If you have to put the house up for sale in a few years, you may be solely responsible for paying all the real-estate costs and capital-gains taxes from the time you and your spouse acquired the property until you sold it – which could be bad news indeed.

5. Hire a good team.

Personal recommendations from a trusted friend or business associate are a great source for professionals. However, you need to do your homework before hiring anyone. Your team should consist of a divorce lawyer and a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) at a minimum. Other members of the team could include a a therapist, a child specialist,  and a business or pension valuator, and perhaps a divorce advocate. Although you may think that the more professionals you hire the more costly your divorce will be, this is not necessarily true. In the long run, having the appropriate help will cut down on litigation costs, and it may save you from making costly blunders regarding your settlement.

(UN)LUCKY SEVEN COMMON MISTAKES MADE WITH THE FINANCES OF DIVORCE

1. Assuming that a 50/50 division of property is a fair settlement.
2. Keeping the house when you can’t afford it.
3. Failing to guarantee alimony and child support payments with life insurance on the life of the person who is suppose to pay.
4. Not naming the spouse who receives alimony or child support as the owner of the life insurance policy, to help ensure that the life insurance is kept in force, unchanged.
5. Looking at only the immediate short-term financial consequesnces of the divorce.
6. Waiting until after the divorce to explore your health insurance options.
7. Each spouse just “keeps their own” 401k plans.

1.  If you are not the spouse who controls the money and pays the bills, get a good advisor to help you prepare.  Your ‘regular†financial planner or investment advisor may not have the specialized training you will need to deal with a divorce.  Seek out a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, who has received focussed training on these  issues, including  pre-, during, and post-divorce planning and implementation.
2.  Prepare a budget.  This is the first thing I recommend for my divorcing clients, and one of the first things your attorney will request if you begin divorce proceedings.  Know where your money is going; consider how much you and your children really need to live on now- and if you separate.
3. Consider where and how you would like to live, and prepare a Phase 2 budget for what that may look like when you live apart.  Child support is often determined by formula; focus on what might be required in maintenance/alimony if there is a large difference between your spouseâ€s and your own income.
4.  Take care of necessary medical issues now, while you are still together and  your medical insurance is in place.  If the children need braces, or you have been putting off elective surgery, do it.  If you were planning to go back to school, especially if it will help you improve your job, or enable you to re-enter the workforce, donâ€t put it off! If you find yourself under new stress, as many people do, see a counselor for some help.  Divorce procedure usually requires that customary activities continue, so start now!
5. If you are planning to stay in the home, get necessary repairs done.  Get the car fixed.  Get things in order, so that if you end up single again, you wonâ€t have to worry about them.  And itâ€s easier to have these jobs done and paid for now, than to argue about who is responsible for them later.
6. Change your passwords on your phone, email and online accounts, and open a post office box or make arrangements for a friend to receive important documents that you wish to keep private.
7. Credit: Get copies of all credit card statements, so you know what cards are out there and in whose name they are titled.  If you donâ€t have credit in your own name alone, this is the time to apply for a card.  Use it- and establish a credit record of your own.  If you want to keep the house, you may need to refinance it, and a credit history will be very helpful.
8. Get copies of all financial statements– bank accounts, credit cards, loans, mortgage, investments, retirement accounts, tax returns.  What are your assets?  Your liabilities? Donâ€t forget that both assetsand debts may be divided.  Know what you own and what you owe.

Whether you were a Scout or not, Be Prepared is a great motto.  If you stay together, knowing about these issues can make you a better financial partner.  If you donâ€t stay together, this information may help you gain a more equitable settlement.

ADRIENNE ROTHSTEIN GRACE,CFP, CLTC, CDFA

Securities offered through Cadaret, Grant & Co. Inc. Member FINRA/SIPC. Davis Financial and Cadaret, Grant are separate entities.

The information provided is not written or intended as specific tax or legal advice and may not be relied on for purposes of avoiding any Federal tax penalties.  Adrienne Rothstein Grace is not authorized to give tax or legal advice.  Individuals are encouraged to seek advice from their own tax or legal counsel.