Collaborative Divorce is an option available when a couple agrees to work out a divorce settlement without going to Court, while still enjoying the advantage of an attorney’s representation.
During a Collaborative Divorce, you and your spouse each hire a separate attorney who has been trained in the Collaborative process. The role of the attorneys in a Collaborative Divorce is quite different than in a ‘Court’ divorce: the goal is to reach agreement, not to go to trial and ‘fight’. You will meet with your attorney separately and then you and your attorney will also meet together with your spouse and her attorney for all settlement discussions/negotiations. The Collaborative process may also involve other neutral professionals, such as a divorce financial planner, who will help both of you work through financial issues and a coach or therapist, who can help guide you through child custody and other emotionally charged issues.
You, your spouse, your attorneys and consultants brought into the Collaboration, must all sign an agreement that requires all participants to withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and/or if litigation is threatened. If this happens, you must start all over again and find new attorneys. Neither party can use the same attorneys or consultants again. This protects the confidentiality of the process, but also underscores the need to be committed to reaching a fair settlement out of Court. Each spouse agrees to voluntarily disclose the details of their financial position, business assets, etc. If there is a lack of trust, or doubt about the truthfulness of these disclosures, the Collaborative process may not be right for you. We still believe in: Trust, but verify.
As with Mediation, if the Collaborative Process is successful, you will usually not have to appear in Court. Your attorney will submit the papers to enable a Judge to incorporate the agreement into the Judgement/Decree of Divorce. These processes, referred to as Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR), can be much quicker and less expensive than traditional litigation. Each spouse’s issues can be heard and acted upon, so there is the possibility of a more cooperative relationship moving forward, especially important for your children.
I do caution my clients on when NOT to use a collaborative (or mediated) divorce. Be sure to support yourself with a full divorce team of specialists if:
- You suspect your spouse is and will continue to hide assets/income.
- Your spouse is domineering, and you’re afraid to voice your opinions.
- There is a history or threat of domestic violence (physical and/or mental) towards you and/or your children.
- You and/or your spouse have a drug/alcohol addiction.
